Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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