I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
