I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We got so high we made milksteak
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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