Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize