it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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