you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
