Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
