I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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