a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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