oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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