i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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