How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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