U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's shark week go big or go home
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
