i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
