Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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