do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
