Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
