I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
