Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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