i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
