my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
