what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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