Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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