this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
