is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
