So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
