Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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