so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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