Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
