He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
