So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
