the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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