dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
