At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
