so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize