My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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