bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
