Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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