This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
