You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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