How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
