Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
