How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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