im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
