Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
