another moral hangover. fuck.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
