I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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