i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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