I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
