we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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