I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
