Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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