I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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