I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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