your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
