He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
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oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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