My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
