Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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