Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
