I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
