Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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