So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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