Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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