I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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