just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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