It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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